Surely many if you have heard of the situation in Florida (surprise!) in which a principal resigned rather than be fired over the fact that one of the most renowned pieces of art was shown to students for the one-millionth time in a public school.

The artwork was Michelangelo’s sculpture David.

Apparently, David has a penis. And if you have never seen one, that is what is between his legs. Basic anatomy. Most middle and high schoolers know that.

For those parents who are threatened by a 500-year-old non-sexualized representation of a person’s anatomy that in reality is about as non-gratuitous as it gets, maybe they should check out what those innocent students whom they are protecting have racing across their smartphone screens and streaming services.

I digress because nothing here in North Carolina suggests that this same type of gaslighting could occur. But just in case, there are some ways to use this great piece of art in our classrooms and spare our students the shock of seeing something that should be reserved for adult consumption with an “XXX” rating.

For instance, if Michelangelo’s David is mentioned in history class, he could be shown as such:

That’s a picture of the history textbook that is being pushed by many here in NC.

If Michelangelo’s David is mentioned in an earth science class, he could be shown as such:

Those are grapes – specifically muscadine grapes. There are a big deal to many in Raleigh.

If Michelangelo’s David is mentioned in civics class, he could be shown as such:

Nope. That’s not a shriveled member. That’s a gerrymandered house congressional district from the 2018 NC election map.

One could even use Michelangelo’s David to talk about teacher salaries in NC.

Here’s what could be presented:

But here’s the reality:

Must be cold.

Or NC is rather frigid when it comes to paying teachers.