As I write this, my wife is still sleeping, getting much needed rest because when Malcolm gets up in the middle of the night (which is frequent) she usually settles him down. So I wanted to jot a few words that could never really approach an accurate measure of the gratitude I have that I am married to her.
There was a teacher where I first taught who gave me possibly the greatest advice about marriage. This beautifully cynic man told me that make sure that if I ever got married that my wife and I are very good friends.
Sounds a bit cliche possibly to someone who might be caught up in the romance of being in love, but he was so right. And I feel fortunate that the woman I married is my best friend.
Today my wife and I celebrate our 20th anniversary. And while I can wax poetic about love, commitment, romance, and other things that people associate with married couples, I want to thank my wife for the things that keep me glued to her, the small things that define why the man I see in the mirror today – despite the graying hair, the winkles developing, and the cheeks a little heavier – is a better man than he was 20 years ago.
“Thank you for your selfless honesty and having the guts to tell me things that are uncomfortable because I needed to hear them.
Thank you for smiling at me from across the room in a crowd of people to let me know that you still know I am there.
Thank you for being the first person I want to call to talk about a personal victory that might be small in the eyes of others, but monumental to me.
Thank you for being the first person I want to be my partner in a Trivial Pursuit game because you’re wickedly smart and so easy on my eyes and ears.
Thank you for being the last person I want to play Scrabble against because you’re wickedly smart and your vocabulary is tremendous.
Thank you for asking tough questions that force me to look for real answers.
Thank you for telling me the truth.
Thank you for telling me that every man that our daughter may think about dating, she will compare to me first and how that constantly reminds me of my role as a father.
Thank you for being a voracious reader and helping me litter our house with books because now both our children love books.
Thank you for always having the best gift ideas because it teaches me that thinking of others is not a temporary action.
Thank you for telling me to eat better and not eat in the middle of the night.
Thank you for telling me to go to the doctor when I don’t want to go.
Thank you for not reading my mind, but knowing me so well that you can read my face.
Thank you for challenging me in being a better father for our kids through actions and paying closer attention.
Thank you for finding so much in life to laugh at and with.
Thank you for your relentless pursuit in making life better for our family and especially our kids.
Thank you for always giving honest answers to our children’s questions.
Thank you for your sense of humor. You are funnier than you think.
Thank you for always calling at the right time.
Thank you for being the most selfless person I know.
And thank you for making me want to be a better man, not because of some expectation that you may have of me, but because I want to become a better man.
And you still are a stunning looking woman with a vicious smile, a wicked intellect, a contagious laugh who shows me more patience than I deserve.
And I love you for so much more than that.
So, I am going to go and make some fresh coffee for when you wake up. You always do the same for me.