A Letter to My Daughter – “Your Dad Is a Feminist”


First, I want to let you know that you are the most important woman in my life. Always will be.

Maybe society dictates that I should say your mother is the most important woman in my life, but she and I look at you and Malcolm as the most important woman and man in our lives. You two are our children and what a privilege it has been and will continue to be your parents.

Secondly, I want you to know that your father is a feminist, a rather unabashed one at that.

Now, before you think that others may scream that this is an unmanly stance to adopt, I want to make sure you understand what I mean by “feminist.” I mean that I believe that men and women should have equal rights and opportunities in our world.

In fact, to tell you the truth, I come by it rather naturally.

I was raised by two women (your grandmother and great-grandmother) after a divorce who were presented with obstacles because of their gender and the roles that they were “supposed” to play in society. They took me to all of my ball games and practices. They sent me to school. They taught me how to treat people.

I watched how my aunt and uncle raised two strong daughters.  You call them your “aunts” and they are both tough, independent, and resilient.

I am married to the strongest woman I know, your mother. I have learned more from her about how to treat other people than anyone. And she is the daughter of another strong woman.

They all have debunked gender myths and taught me that being a feminist is right and just and something that a strong man can and should be, especially if he is the father of a young lady in this world who is coming into her own and has the intelligence and the ability to see the world for what it is and fight for what she sees as important.

I want you to know that there are a lot of people who do not think this way. When you go off to college and into adulthood, you will run into men (young and old) who do not value women in the same way that others do.

The case of Brock Turner comes to mind often. He is the ex-Stanford swimmer who constantly serves as a reminder that entitlement can trump decency (pun intended).


Even the judge in the case who only sentenced this rapist to a six month maximum sentence perpetuates the reality that people in power do not always have the best interests in mind for all people involved.

I can only hope that I as a father have set at least some sort of precedent on how you as a woman should expect to be treated by a man. And I hope that you talk to your mother about this. She knows, and because you are the most important woman in her life, she will tell you the truth and give you honest answers to questions you have every right to ask.

I promise you that I will try and do the same – honest answers to tough questions because we taught you to ask tough questions.

And please remember that there is a reason that I teach certain works of literature the way that I do. That’s because I want the young ladies in my class to realize that women have always been agents of change; they have been the constant, the backbone, the foundation for so many stories in a male-dominated society. In fact, I argue that some of our greatest male writers were feminists in their own right.

  • Think of Shakespeare’s Rosalind, Viola, Portia, and Imogen.
  • Think of Chaucer’s Wife of Bath.
  • Think of Hawthorne’s Hester Prynne.
  • Think of Homer’s Penelope.
  • Think of Tolkien’s Eowyn.

The list goes on.

Now think of the #MeToo Movement. The Marches for Women. And look how many women are running for public office .

There are so many things that I want you to have, not least are a sense of self and self-worth. You do not have to accept being objectified or looked down upon because you are a woman.

And there are many other men who feel the way I do and gladly call themselves a feminist.


I Will Not Write Joyce Krawiec About Her Tweet Concerning The Women’s March, But I Will…

I am not going to write Sen. Joyce Krawiec a letter concerning her statement in a recent tweet that belittled the women who marched in the Women’s March this past Saturday which looked something like this:


I am not going remark to her that using Twitter allows for your comments to be seen by everybody and that tweets can get people in a little bit of trouble.



I am not going to remind Joyce Krawiec that on her Twitter description she identifies herself as someone who defends the constitution and attaches herself to #Christian #Conservative #Constitution hashtags.


I am not going to tell the state senator that in her tweet she actually was attacking the constitutional rights of those women who were participating, specifically the First Amendment.

“Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the government for a redress of grievances.”

I am not going to remind Joyce Krawiec that not a single woman or individual in any of the marches associated with the Women’s Day March was arrested and that they all had the right to congregate.


I am not going to remind the state senator that freedom of speech means that one can use vulgarity. Considering that she endorsed a man to become president who frequently used it and has exhibited lewd behavior, she seems to be selectively judging others even though the Bible teaches her not to do so.

“I think he’s going to make America great again. I believe that he will do what he says he will do” – Se. Kraweic on Trump, July 24th, 2016 for Fox8.

“Grab them by the pussy” – Donald Trump 2005.

I will not remind the senator that protesting as a group of civic minded people is about as grassroots as it gets in America.

“Joyce Krawiec is a small business owner, grassroots activist, and life long Republican. As a believer in the grassroots, Joyce has dedicated her time and efforts to holding government accountable to the people of North Carolina” – from http://www.joyceforsenate.com/.

I will not remind Joyce Krawiec that she of all people does not get to decide what the right reasons are for people to congregate.


And will not tell her that her excuse for what she tweeted is because she is new to twitter is utter bullshit considering when she joined Twitter and how many tweets she has already sent out from her personal account.


Nor will I tell her that her tweet literally went against that credo of restoring freedom and liberty.

And that I have a hard time remembering how to spell her name.

I will simply tweet it and send her one of those pink hats.


With her name knitted on it.

Spelled incorrectly.