Excuse Me Mr. Barista? May I Have Some More Spicer in My Sycophant Latte? – Or, The Making of a New SNL Skit

First it was about the size of the hands.

Now it’s about the size of the crowd.

New Press Secretary Sean Spicer made his first appearance as Trump’s mouthpiece on Saturday during a day of protest with the Women’s March on Washington and other metropolitan/urban venues.

sean-spicer

And he sounded like he was a mad elementary school child who was caught in a lie and was trying to fib his way out of it.

Simply put, he sounded like an “angry elf.”

elf-angry

Actually, Sean Spicer is average height, but Buddy would have called him that anyway.

  • The tone.
  • The stance.
  • The words.
  • The angry pauses.
  • The false claims.
  • The attitude.
  • The atmosphere.
  • The “I’m so mad, I could just spit” kind of feeling.

And with it he set a tenor for the presidency of Donald Trump. But he also gave even more fuel to two different movements that just might meld into one.

First, his words did nothing more than cry out, “We can’t accept that more people showed up to protest the new president’s inauguration than actually came to the inauguration.”

Sorry, Sean. All reports pretty much say that more people came to show disgust today than to come and cheer Trump yesterday.

Secondly, he came in front of the media to state that the media is wrong in its reporting.

I am not a journalist, but married to a professional journalist and I have many friends in the newspaper business. They take the job very seriously, and while there are a few publications that are really out for sales and demonizing like Steve Bannon’s Breitbart News, journalists tend to hold the First Amendment very strongly like Alex Jones claims to hold the Second Amendment.

Mr. Spicer just added more impetus to focus even more of a microscope on the Trump presidency. Mr. Spicer just reemphasized to journalists the very power that they have.

Trump’s press conference last week when he blasted CNN for “fake news” probably made CNN’s ratings go up. Interestingly, CNN broke the story that led to the fall of Monica Crowley when they discovered plagiarism in both her book and her doctoral dissertation.

What Spicer did was really pick an unknowing fight with something that might be bigger than he or Trump – the press.

They are galvanized and ready to ask a lot of questions.

The following is the transcript of Spicer’s “press conference.” Judge for yourself, but it is funny that he thanks journalists for being there and that he will see them later on Monday after he just finished belittling the profession.

Then go and read other accounts – other news outlets – CNN, MSNBC, FOX, ABC, BBC, etc. See what they say.

But if I DIDLS (look for diction, imagery, details or lack thereof, language, and syntax) Spicer’s spiel, then I come to one and one/half conclusions – bruised ego with a side of fear.

That fear is that it is all very real now with no “do overs.”

Good evening.  Thank you guys for coming.  I know our first official press briefing is going to be on Monday, but I wanted to give you a few updates on the President’s activities.  But before I get to the news of the day, I think I’d like to discuss a little bit of the coverage of the last 24 hours.

Yesterday, at a time when our nation and the world was watching the peaceful transition of power and, as the President said, the transition and the balance of power from Washington to the citizens of the United States, some members of the media were engaged in deliberately false reporting.  For all the talk about the proper use of Twitter, two instances yesterday stand out.

One was a particular egregious example in which a reporter falsely tweeted out that the bust of Martin Luther King, Jr. had been removed from the Oval Office.  After it was pointed out that this was just plain wrong, the reporter casually reported and tweeted out and tried to claim that a Secret Service agent must have just been standing in front of it.  This was irresponsible and reckless.

Secondly, photographs of the inaugural proceedings were intentionally framed in a way, in one particular tweet, to minimize the enormous support that had gathered on the National Mall.  This was the first time in our nation’s history that floor coverings have been used to protect the grass on the Mall.  That had the effect of highlighting any areas where people were not standing, while in years past the grass eliminated this visual.  This was also the first time that fencing and magnetometers went as far back on the Mall, preventing hundreds of thousands of people from being able to access the Mall as quickly as they had in inaugurations past.

Inaccurate numbers involving crowd size were also tweeted.  No one had numbers, because the National Park Service, which controls the National Mall, does not put any out.  By the way, this applies to any attempts to try to count the number of protestors today in the same fashion.

We do know a few things, so let’s go through the facts.  We know that from the platform where the President was sworn in, to 4th Street, it holds about 250,000 people.  From 4th Street to the media tent is about another 220,000.  And from the media tent to the Washington Monument, another 250,000 people.  All of this space was full when the President took the Oath of Office.  We know that 420,000 people used the D.C. Metro public transit yesterday, which actually compares to 317,000 that used it for President Obama’s last inaugural.  This was the largest audience to ever witness an inauguration — period — both in person and around the globe.  Even the New York Times printed a photograph showing a misrepresentation of the crowd in the original Tweet in their paper, which showed the full extent of the support, depth in crowd, and intensity that existed.

These attempts to lessen the enthusiasm of the inauguration are shameful and wrong.  The President was also at the — as you know, the President was also at the Central Intelligence Agency and greeted by a raucous overflow crowd of some 400-plus CIA employees.  There were over 1,000 requests to attend, prompting the President to note that he’ll have to come back to greet the rest.  The employees were ecstatic that he’s the new Commander-in-Chief, and he delivered them a powerful and important message.  He told them he has their back, and they were grateful for that.  They gave him a five-minute standing ovation at the end in a display of their patriotism and their enthusiasm for his presidency.

I’d also note that it’s a shame that the CIA didn’t have a CIA Director to be with him today when he visited, because the Democrats have chosen — Senate Democrats are stalling the nomination of Mike Pompeo and playing politics with national security.  That’s what you guys should be writing and covering, instead of sowing division about tweets and false narratives.

The President is committed to unifying our country, and that was the focus of his inaugural address.  This kind of dishonesty in the media, the challenging — that bringing about our nation together is making it more difficult.

There’s been a lot of talk in the media about the responsibility to hold Donald Trump accountable.  And I’m here to tell you that it goes two ways.  We’re going to hold the press accountable, as well.  The American people deserve better.  And as long as he serves as the messenger for this incredible movement, he will take his message directly to the American people where his focus will always be.

And with that, a few other updates from the day.  The President had a constructive conversation with Prime Minister Trudeau of Canada about strengthening the relationship between our two nations.  They also discussed setting up additional meetings in the days to come, which we will follow up on.  He also spoke to Prime Minister Peña Nieto of Mexico, and talked about a visit on trade, immigration and security that will occur on the 31st.  The President will welcome his first foreign leader this Thursday when the United Kingdom’s Theresa May will come to Washington — on Friday.

Tomorrow, the President will oversee his Assistants to the President being sworn in.  The staff will then have an ethics briefing, a briefing on the proper use and handling of classified information.  Further updates as far as what he will do — oh, and then in the evening, he will have a reception for law enforcement and first responders that helped support the inauguration.

Thank you guys for being here tonight.  I will see you on Monday.

Mr. Spicer, you just became a new character on Saturday Night Live.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s