The Cotton-Headed Ninny-Mugginses Of The EOC Exams

I’M on a blog and I’m blogging. I’M ON A BLOG, AND I’M BLOGGING!

Leave it to Buddy the Elf to best explain the current push by the state to make students take EOC exams in person as the current pandemic surges. And recent words by the new state superintendent and the current chair of the SBOE did not present the current situation of EOC testing in the most favorable way.

  • “The best way to spread Christmas Cheer, is singing loud for all to hear.”

Translated: “The best way to spread cheer is to make public school students in North Carolina take in-person standardized tests in a school year that is unprecedented just to see how well we are doing.”

Or as State Superintendent-Elect Catherine Truitt expressed in an op-ed on this past Thursday with Eric Davis from the State Board of Education:

Conducting testing is an essential part of a student’s educational journey,” Superintendent-Elect Catherine Truitt said. “As an educator and parent of two public school students, I believe the more knowledge we have of our children’s progress the better.”

That whole “loud for all to hear” part? Never seems to happen. That’s called transparency. Not part of their style in Raleigh and DPI these last few years.

  • “You sit on a throne of lies!”

When Truitt and Eric Davis co-wrote that op-ed they also said:

“Part of our recovery from COVID-19 is assuring we have appropriate measures in place to determine with certainty the academic and non-academic needs of our students. Testing allows us to determine the appropriate steps to help students meet their educational goals. We continue to explore our options to waive punitive accountability measures for the 2020-21 school year. However, federal testing and accountability measures can be waived only by the U.S. Secretary of Education. At this time, no waivers from the current secretary are forthcoming.”

But they didn’t say that we are about to get a new Secretary of Education.

We can also change the dates those tests need to be taken.

We can still apply for waivers. If Truitt can act as the “state super” now, we can also see ask the Biden administration to give an indication of its willingness to give waivers.

We can even change the weight that those tests might have.

  • “We elves try to stick to the four main food groups: candy, candy canes, candy corns and syrup.”

Translated: “We NCGA GOP members try to stick to the four main food groups: power grabs, gerrymandering, voter suppression, and privatization of public education.”

Espcially that last one – making students take tests this year might be used to dirve the narrative that public schools are failing and that we need reforms.

  • “I am a cotton-headed ninny-muggins!”

Actually, “they” are all much more than that. We don’t even have a new budget. Public schools are operating on a previous budget without nonrecurring funds. Furthermore, Raleigh is sitting on a fairly large nest egg of funds.

  • “Buddy the Elf, what’s your favorite color?”

The color is green in most cases – green with the idea of money that can be used to go into those unproven reforms that have never shown substantial returns like vouchers and unregulated charter school growth.

  • “I planned out our whole day: First, we’ll make snow angels for two hours, and then we’ll go ice skating, and then we’ll eat a whole roll of Toll-House cookie dough as fast as we can, and then to finish, we’ll snuggle.”

Translated: “We planned out how we are going to proceed with the rest of the school year. We have our narrative ready. Push things off on to the local systems. Make sure the punitive standardized tests are given. Measure schools by their performance while not supporting them as we should. And when things don’t go well, we’ll blame it on the governor.”

  • “I just like to smile; smiling’s my favorite.”

Translated: “I just like to smile; smiling’s helping to cover my….”

  • “Son of a nutcracker!”

“Nutcracker” really doesn’t capture the mood does it, but it is about as strong as word as Buddy can muster.

  • “You have such a pretty face. You should be on a Christmas card.”

Or a glossy flyer. Wonder if Truitt will consider carrying on that “tradition.”

  • “You did it! Congratulations! World’s best cup of coffee! Great job, everybody! It’s great to be here.”

Translated: “We will praise teachers loudly in public. But we are still working on not bringing them to the table to discuss what can be done to help schools and students.”

  • “Does somebody need a hug?”

“Hug” is too gentle a word here.

  • “Have you seen these toilets? They’re ginormous!”

Did you know that he actual last part of that bathroom bill from a few years ago expired at teh first of the month. Yep, it expired on Dec. 1st of 2020.

  • “You stink. You smell like beef and cheese! You don’t smell like Santa.”

Well said Buddy, well said.